:sighs: Where to begin....
By now, we’ve all heard about The Curry Women’s interview with Red Table Talk.
I want to start by saying how much I appreciate them for simply being honest. Even though they knew in advance they were “targets”, they still came forward and spoke their truth. Majority of the women at the table, including Jada and Willow, spoke of their anxiety issues and how they dealt with them throughout life.
It’s rare that we get to see this side of The Curry Women, who can seem picture perfect at times when spotted courtside supporting their NBA husbands. We’ve all laughed and smiled when we see Riley being her amazing self on the sidelines or in an interview with her dad Steph Curry.
It can all seem like everything is in order. But this time, for this interview, they let us in.
The fuss all over social media seems to be the fact that Ayesha Curry stated how she hasn’t felt that same attention from men as Steph does with women. She stated that she wondered if something was wrong with her since no one was coming her way, not that she wants it, but just wants that affirmation that she still has “it”. The other women at the table commented all at once, telling her that nothing was wrong with her, she had turned her “radar” off, and that it could be a dangerous place if she was acknowledging and receiving that attention.
The comments I’ve seen have called her dumb, ungrateful, ridiculous, and insecure.
SHAKING MY HEAD...
What she said was the probably the REALEST, MOST HONEST statement a married woman can give.
Now what I’m not saying is that I agree with her comment. But what I am saying is that if you are a married woman, or have been married, you know exactly what she’s feeling... But I’ll tell on myself so y’all can stay innocent.
I like attention. In the past, I wanted it for all the wrong reasons. When it came to relationships, even if I was committed, I still wanted attention from someone else. I tell people that I use to have “one in the pocket”, so just in case the main one messed up, I could replace him with the one I’ve been entertaining. I was insecure, but when I knew I had the attention of a guy, it boosted my confidence. I would walk into rooms, waiting to see who was looking at me. I wanted guys to approach me, even if I knew I was going to say no, I wanted the attention. I wanted to know that I had that “thing”. LADIES KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
That “thing” where guys want to talk to you, make conversation, hit on you, and make you feel beautiful.
But I needed that because I didn’t feel beautiful all on my own.
When I got married, it didn’t stop. It wasn’t that my husband wasn’t telling me I was beautiful or paying me any attention. I just wanted more. I wanted to know that I was still beautiful to other people. His attention wasn’t enough. But to be honest, the attention of any other man would’ve never been enough... because I was trying to fill a gap in myself with attention and compliments and likes... instead of dealing the insecurities I had about myself.
You could tell that as Ayesha Curry was saying it, she was uncomfortable and really felt something was wrong with her because no other man was hitting on her. Not because Steph wasn’t doing enough at home, but because there’s still some insecurity in her, which she admitted to, that needs that outside validation of her beauty and her value.
We’ve all been there!
With the rise of social media, IG models, and beautiful women who aren’t afraid to hit on a married man with kids at any second of the day, it can be hard as a married woman to remember your worth. It can be hard to be solid in who you are without outside validation.
We’re all looking for it! That’s why we’ve put our value in likes, comments, follows, and shares on social media.
WE ARE LOOKING FOR VALIDATION! When we don’t get it, we feel insecure about who we are and what we have to offer the world.
Let’s be real. We’ve all compromised who we are and what we believe for approval from others, and unfortunately for many of us, it started as a child. We search the world for validation. We’re looking for that “Okay” from the world around us to let us know that we’re on the right track.
It took some time, and I’m still dealing with not being worried about what others think. I’m still working on not putting my value on someone’s thumbs to double tap my picture. I have to work through not looking for validation from someone else that I can start a dream or that I’m beautiful just the way I am. Once I acknowledged it and confronted it, I started to feel a FREEDOM like never before.
Tonight, I’m praying for Ayesha Curry, and every other person in the world who feels like they need the world’s opinions to validate who they are, inside and out. I’m praying for people who put more value in a double tap than the person they see in the mirror every day.
The hole you’re trying to fill with attention and likes and comments and fake friends on social media will NEVER disappear until you break FREE from needing other people to validate you.
I love you. Start loving yourself. You’re worth it.